Last night I went for a drive through town with my dad. It was all good untill I was about 1k from home....
Coming up to the roundabout, I slowed down, looked and then began to enter the intersection. There was a (large) vehicle to my right, and so I should've given way, but I didn't... I don't know what I was thinking. It was as though I was subconsciously trying to kill myself, and if it wasn't for my dad being right beside me, I probably would be dead. As soon as I got home I just layed down and cried as my dad gave me yet another lecture.
Today was horrible. I felt sick every time I went through a roundabout on my bike on the way to school.
When I got to English last period, it all came flooding back. What if I did get hit? What would've happened to everyone else? How selfish would it have been? What made me feel so bad about myself? I can't remember a time when I haven't been either depressed or lying to people.
Thanks rusty for your support this arvo. To be honest, without talking to you, I probably wouldn't have made it home in one piece.
About Me
- fleedle
- I'm 19, Went to Shirley Boys' High School. I love swimming, performing, and watching the world go by. I spend my days at the pool lifeguarding, coaching and swimming. This is a blog to help me express how I feel, and also keep a record of how things change over the next few weeks/months/years. :)
Ah! You see, I know this feeling. I was at the art gallery, the other day. And I was standing up on this bridge, about 3 storeys up, watching a kinetic sculpture do it's thing below me. And it was so odd, but I had to consciously step backwards so as to not try to throw myself off that balcony! I was standing there, leaning further and further over it, thinking about how easy it would be to just push off it. Weird. I think we have issues.
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