About Me

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I'm 19, Went to Shirley Boys' High School. I love swimming, performing, and watching the world go by. I spend my days at the pool lifeguarding, coaching and swimming. This is a blog to help me express how I feel, and also keep a record of how things change over the next few weeks/months/years. :)

Friday, December 23, 2011

Not what I expected

I thought I would be fine.
I thought I could manage it.
I thought it would go back to how it was before.
I thought we'd still be close.

Turns out I'm not fine, I can't really manage it, it's nothing like it was before, and we're slowly drifting apart.  It doesn't really help that we're at each others throats all the time, but I can't help it when you treat me like I don't matter and as though we were never as close as we were.  You know me and I know you, so why the heck don't we act like it? I don't know... Why do I care? Because I just do.
It just frustrates me to no end when you don't think I'm good enough. I AM good enough and I do know what I'm talking about. If I didn't, I would say so.

You know me, and you know that words hurt. When I come up with a plan for myself, you say it's wrong. When I give you positive advice about school and stuff, I don't want to be told that I fucked up. You have no idea how it felt when you said you don't respect me as a coach. Just because you've been to national meets and might do a better job at it doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. If you want to do well, surely you would listen and take advice from everyone?
I want to help.
It's my job to help.
Friends help friends.


You probably don't even read this anymore... You probably didn't read that post I asked you to have a look at... You probably have no idea at all... If you do, you should know that I still care... You should know that I'll care as long as you care...

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